othering
I was lucky enough to grow up in a family and a community where a high value was placed on lively and frank conversation, where the exchange of opinions and the debates on their merits were encouraged, prized even. Such vigorous discussion seems to be a thing of the past and I’m left wondering, how did we allow that to happen, how did “othering” take such a strong hold on humankind? When did holding a counter opinion make us enemies? It baffles my meagre acumen and all of my sensibilities.
During the past month I’ve been reading and learning about “othering” — a term (but not a concept) that is new to me and yes, I do realize I’m very late to the party. True that othering is the act of treating a group of people as being inherently different, but it runs so much deeper than that. Othering is the sinister act of alienation, of casting suspicion and of deliberate insult. It occurs because the out-group is perceived to be disruptively and worryingly different, amoral, threatening, repugnant and evil. Othering is mendacious and those doing the othering are usually the most vociferous amongst us.
Valerian
(Valeriana officinalis)
Valerian symbolizes readiness.
Othering is fecund but not new: The Holocaust (1940s) inflicted by the Nazis under Hitler, genocide of the Rohingya (1980s and on-going) inflicted by the Burmese military, genocide in Rwanda (1990s) inflicted by the Hutu, the Holodomor (Terror-Famine) in Ukraine (1930s) inflicted by the Soviets under Stalin, Cambodian genocide (1970s) inflicted by the Khmer Rouge, the California Genocide (1840s & 1870s) inflicted by government agents and private citizens and finally, to Canada’s great and ongoing shame, the Residential School system (1880s through 1996) inflicted by the Canadian government and the churches.
Othering is polarizing and myopic; done, largely, by those with closed minds and hearts and who seem to feel an enormous sense of self-righteousness. That false righteousness breeds contempt and prevents understanding, compromise and social civility.
Black-Eyed Susan
(Rudbeckia hirta)
Black-eyed Susans symbolize justice.
The public conversational arena must be sufficiently large and robust to accommodate everyone — all sexes, races, religions, sexual orientations and political rivals — room for hearing all opinions, where everyone feels free and safe to share both their experience and point of view. Safe space to hear and consider those subjects from a fresh perspective. It simply cannot matter if you are for tighter gun control or complete freedom of gun ownership, for or against vaccination, pro life or pro choice, Conservative, NDP, Liberal or Green, for or against the monarchy or whether you see protestors or anarchists - everyone deserves a seat at the table.
Common Dandelion
(Taraxacum officinale)
Dandelions symbolize overcoming hardship.
Instead, we’re deeply entrenched, lines of demarcation have been drawn, barricades erected (literally and figuratively) over protests and how loud they should or should not be, how much space they should occupy and how long they ought to last. Public rage is running as hot as ever it has, and the mud we’ve been slinging is now as hard as adobe bricks. We must put an end to firing these bricks at one another, put an end to the hurtful, accusatory and fault-finding words we speak that are every bit as harmful as poison-tipped darts. We need to rebuild compassion and peace. We need more understanding.
Queen Anne’s Lace
(Daucus carota)
Queen Anne’s Lace symbolizes haven, sanctuary, complexity and delicateness.
Clearly, our world needs greater apperception — of the gaps in our understanding, of exactly who we all are, of what we’ve each had to accept and endure and of the experiences that have formed all those conflicting opinions. The more aware of those differences we become, the easier it ought to be to hold a very different, equitable, inclusive conversation.
Tulip
(Tulipa)
Pink Tulips symbolize caring.
Unfortunately, there is no template for a change of this magnitude. No checklist. A good beginning would be a willingness to spend more time listening and less time labelling; a determination to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with those at the margins, ensuring their voices are heard, their needs are met. Privilege does not guarantee understanding indeed, historically, it’s often precluded it. There can be no understanding if one race dominates another, one sex fails to respect the other, and if the haves wield determinational power over the have-nots.
Oxeye Daisy
(Chrysanthemum leucanthemum)
Daisies symbolize patience.
Our differences seem to be infinite, but within that diversity of thought and theory are universal truths and those truths will be the foundation of the bridges we’re trying to build to understanding, empathy and peace. However, peace depends upon so much more than understanding — it requires intent and some Elizabeth Warren-style persistence.
Wisteria
Wisteria symbolizes a warm welcome.
How on earth do we grow compassion, understanding, tolerance and acceptance on such stony ground? By welcoming one and all to the table.
Othering is self-destructive. If we’re ever going to put an end to it, to achieve a shared understanding, we will need to establish a bedrock of solid, fundamental fairness, and to do that we must lean into the divide. Seems simple enough. It isn’t. It won’t be. It will require herculean effort by everyone. Taking a deep breath, dialling back the rage and hatred and summoning every last ounce of patience (with each other and with ourselves) would be an enormous and productive first step toward understanding and compromise.
Can you do that? Can I? Can we suppress the stereotypes and prejudices we’ve been taught and expand that which our hearts know to be honourable and true? Can we listen calmly and respond with kindness? If we can, we may even better-understand ourselves.
Common Yarrow
(Achillea millefolium)
Yarrow symbolizes healing and inspiration.
When confronted by othering, which is all too often incited and boosted by social media, rather than pushing back, let’s try our best to move to the centre, to the barricade, and lean on it for all we’re worth. Together. Might in numbers. Look across that barrier we’ve erected, see the humanity on the other side, listen, express gratitude when we’ve been listened to and above all, keep talking.
How on earth do we grow compassion, understanding, tolerance and acceptance on such stony ground? Together!
'Til next time, y'all...
Canada Anemone
(Anemone canadensis)
Anemones symbolize peace.