“Everybody matters. Or nobody matters.”*
"Everybody matters. Or nobody matters."*
June was Pride month. One of the UK papers published an image of a young European woman (she looked to be 18-20), sitting on a curb, wrapped in the rainbow flag, her face bleeding from a projectile angrily thrown at her by an anti-pride protestor. She was holding a sign that read “Human⚫️Kind Be both.” The photo was heartbreakingly sad. I am blessed to have a multitude of friends in the LGBTQ2S community and I couldn’t even begin to imagine how distressing, frightening, enraging and disgusting they found that picture and the plethora of others just like it. The worst is that these are not isolated incidents, there are thousands more, this year alone, many of those here in Canada. Indeed, a charter member of Arts and Letters and his partner were assaulted at a Pride event last month - they had paint thrown on them and, ‘though not physically harmed, they were both very frightened during the altercation.
Polarity is on the rise; too many of us seem determined to slide to the far left or far right - moderates are a dwindling body. The most contentious issues are either ethical or religious in nature and Canadians are divided on many of those - politics, climate change, abortion, immigration and most recently, LGBTQ2S rights and freedoms. Public discourse is getting ever louder, ever angrier. This seems to have become an era when many of us need a gentle reminder to respect one another and to consciously extend kindness to everyone around us, regardless of our beliefs and preconceived judgments. Respect life. Every life. Everybody matters. Or nobody matters.
This is not a commentary about those beliefs but about how we act upon them. This is not a commentary about free speech, but about the words we choose. This is a plea: If you feel compelled to take a public stand, honour and respect the dignity of everyone on both sides of the issue. If you engage in public debate, do so with courtesy and respect for all.
Every one of us ultimately wants the same things: To be true to ourselves, to be safe, to belong, to be happy, and to be loved. And to matter. Everybody matters. Or nobody matters.
“The protection of life is a seamless garment.
You can’t protect some life and not others.”**
Seamless garment is a brilliant analogy. When society fails to treat the LGBTQ2S or any other marginalised community with dignity, treating them instead with cruelty, disdain, violence and frenzied anger, we merely diminish people already short on respect.
Everyone needs to be safe, indeed that is one of the protections guaranteed in our Charter. Everyone wants acceptance and to be treated fairly but even more than these, we all want respect for who we are. That’s not a big ask, even amongst those with diametrically opposed beliefs. According to Greek mythology, during the Trojan war there was an exchange between enemies - Achilles (the greatest warrior in Greek mythology) and Priam (King of Troy at the time of the war):
Achilles: You're still my enemy in the morning.
Priam: You're still my enemy tonight. But even enemies can show respect.
The idea that even an enemy can respect another enemy encompasses decency, honour and dignity. That’s exactly what we need right now. We need that seamless garment of protection for all. Unfortunately, respect cannot be mandated but intentionally, it can be cultivated, encouraged and lauded.
“Therefore pay respect that you may be respected,
and know that to be esteemed you must show esteem.”***
Beyond respect, we all need to be treated kindly because we’re all facing struggles - some visible, some not. Think how kindness makes you feel and use that as your motivation to be kind to everyone else. Being kind means using both our eyes and our hearts to really see. Being kind means using both our ears and our hearts to really hear. Being kind means using both our minds and our hearts to fully understand. Being kind means using both our hands and our hearts to comfort. Kindness comes only from the heart.
This is a plea for kindness. If you are going to be uncompromising about one thing, please let it be kindness. Please let it be kindness to those living in the margins, those without power, those who are ignored, shunned and persecuted. Your effort will not be in vain. The fabulist Aesop, wrote:
“A kindness is never wasted.”****
The power and virtue in Aesop’s lesson is that many small acts of kindness build into a wave of kindness and its ripples will spread far and wide - further than you could ever imagine. Don’t merely be someone who tries to avoid causing pain, be someone who, through small acts of kindness, alleviates that pain. Little by little, acting together we can make the world a safer, inclusive and more ideal place for one person at a time, one kindness at a time until our world is a better place for all. Everybody matters. Or nobody matters.
Human⚫️kind - let’s strive to be both!
’Til next time, y’all…
*Harry Bosch: Detective Hieronymus "Harry" Bosch is a fictional character created by American author Michael Connelly. He was brilliantly portrayed on TV by Titus B. Welliver.
**Eileen Egan (Catholic activist), from “Notre Dame News” 10th March 2022, University of Notre Dame: “A biblical phrase referencing the seamless robe Jesus wore before his crucifixion, the term ‘seamless garment’ is attributed to Eileen Egan.
***Baltasar Gracián, page 154, The Art of Worldly Wisdom.
****Aesop, moral of his fable “The Lion & the Mouse”. ’Though Aesop is generally quoted as having written No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted, in my book, the quote is as above, A kindness is never wasted:
