The Fallacy of Assumption
“Brain thrives on assumptions, that ain't the
problem,
Trouble begins when all thought ends at
assumption.”*
Lately I’ve been somewhat preoccupied with the folly of assumption or, illogically presuming something is certain without supporting proof. Assumption requires a certain amount of egoism or conceit — a quality we all have, to varying degrees. Recently, a very vain assumption got me into a spot of hot water and I’ve been wondering, how often do we, do I, make incorrect assumptions.
Blogging can be a manifestation, to some extent, of vainglory, and mine is a perfect example. ‘Though my blog originally documented the life and times of a dialysis patient and was read by many others in the throes of dialysis, it has long-since morphed into tales of my mostly prosaic, infrequently exciting, small town life and rural experiences. I concede there is a certain conceit in believing anyone might be interested my trite exploits, yet I assumed my close friends were reading my every blog post. Vanity run amok!
Back in 2017 (just six years ago, but feeling like an entire lifetime ago), at the 23rd Annual Lakefield Literary Festival, I attended a blogging workshop run by the brilliant author Kerry Clare (each title is a link): the M Word and Mitzi Bytes and Waiting for a Star to Fall and — drum roll, please — coming on 5th September, Asking for a Friend (you can already pre-order Kerry’s new book - I have.). One of the first, and best pieces of advice Kerry shared with us during that workshop was (and I’m definitely paraphrasing here): Don’t write to please your family and friends, most of them won’t read your blog anyway. Write about what you’re interested in, about what you love, and your people will find you. Truer words were never spoken. Since attending Kerry’s blogging workshop, my followers have increased, bit by bit, month by month and, as she predicted, less than 5% appear in my Contacts.
For the past eighteen months or so, in many of my blog posts, I’ve been recording details of our house-hunting process, our ultimate purchase of this home, all the packing/moving/unpacking minutiae and our subsequent exploration of Essex County. I assumed that my family and friends were reading all of my posts, were fully informed, and therein lies a self-delusion: That by sharing details of my life via my blog posts, I’m simultaneously communicating with my inner circle, that they’re all reading (and remembering) what I’ve written. Unreasonable at best, but mostly asinine.
Another incorrect assumption, often made about me, is that I spend a lot of time on social, reading and sharing posts, but in fact my Zenfolio posts are automatically uploaded to my socials and me? I sign into my accounts infrequently and spend very little time scrolling through my feeds (yet I was so sure everyone was reading mine).
Lesson learned. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.**
Instead of social media, every single day I spend as much time as I can writing. I write in our cosy living room with its pretty French doors looking out to the woods, ravine and creek. The fireplace is a mere ten feet away should I feel chilly (and I often do). It is seldom quiet, but I’ve developed the facility of tuning out the ambient noise as my fingers fly across the keyboard.
Writing solely to please myself, each day I create a new Pages document and I begin typing — stream of consciousness styles — anything and everything that is on my mind and, always, the sweet happy of the day. I record everything I don’t want to forget. I write about my new hometown - Kingsville, my new county - Essex, my new parks - Hillman, Point Pelee and Wheatley. I write about my new life here at Mill Creek, about my photography and, of course, about all the critters I see and want to see. Quite often, my daily subject is an issue that struck a chord - harmonic or discordant - most likely from one of the newspapers. Writing is my way of exploring and making sense of what I'm feeling in my heart. Once it’s all committed to words, I do a little editing and then post about one in ten to my blog. It is a privilege, being able to freely publish, but it is an absolute honour receiving all the feedback, the sweet (and snarly) comments and especially all the words of support and encouragement.
Today is Good Friday and I woke up feeling flat. It’s spring already here in Essex County, the sun is shining, it is 12℃, a whole new crop of wild Daffodils are in bud - two are blooming - in the ravine behind my home, but still, I was feeling a wee bit blah. I’ve been judging myself a lot lately and finding some of my thoughts and actions to be arrogant and devoid of kindness. I was awake a lot last night and those were the thoughts, running on a loop, in my brain each time I awoke. This morning I treated myself to the “snap out of it” lecture which, when I was already feeling less-than, was exactly what I needed. Not.
Since moving, way back in August, I’ve (temporarily?) abandoned my meditation practice. Between unpacking, moving furniture around (many times), purchasing items we found ourselves newly needing, sorting out doctors and a dentist, their inaugural and follow-up appointments and tests, living through multiple renovations, Christmas, an horrific ice storm, and so much more, I’ve had no time (read: made no time) to sit on my cushion. Last week I registered for guided meditation through one of my favourite Buddhist magazines and today’s session was almost prophetic: Treat yourself with loving kindness, not judgement. After completing it, my melancholy passed, I felt at ease in my skin again, and I learned another important lesson about self-care.
If you, too, are feeling a bit overwhelmed by the pressures of participating in social media, a wee bit of advice? Treat yourself with loving kindness, not judgement.
Happy Easter!
’Til next time, y’all…
*Abhijit Naskar, from his anthology Handcrafted Humanity: 100 Sonnets For A Blunderful World, page 51, full text below. Enjoy!
**NOT a bible verse. This phrase does not appear - anywhere - in scripture. Scholars generally accept that this is an adaptation of a proverb, written by Chaucer, in his Troilus and Criseyde circa 1385.
Sonnet 28
Worse than ignorance is denial of ignorance,
Acceptance of ignorance makes way for learning.
Worse than bigotry is denial of bigotry,
Acknowledgement of it facilitates mental cleansing.
We are all biased, that's not the problem,
Trouble begins when we let biases dictate action.
Brain thrives on assumptions, that ain't the
problem,
Trouble begins when all thought ends at
assumption.
There is no such thing as truth in the world,
It's all one big belief meant to aid life not wisdom.
Perception is almost entirely born of guess-work,
'Cause our brain doesn't care about ascension.
But the kernel of curiosity also lies dormant in our
brain.
Rise, roar and rebel my friend, rejecting all storm
and rain.