These Are The Halcyon Days
The etymology of the word Halcyon is a tale in Greek mythology, about the bird, Alcyone (Halcyon), believed to be a Kingfisher. The Halcyon bird was thought to have the power to calm the waves every December so she could nest. [Kingfishers excavate burrows in the bare, earthen banks of rivers, creeks, streams, ponds, lakes and oceans for their nests.] Just like the water calmed by Alcyone, the modern Halcyon Days has come to mean a period of happiness, amity and peace. It is, specifically, the 14 days around the winter solstice so we are, right now, enjoying the Halcyon Days.
I’m embarrassed and a little ashamed to admit that I seem to have spent many hours daydreaming this week month. Woolgathering, as Mum would have chided. Drifting through my catalogue of favourite Christmas memories and remembering Mum and Dad’s beloved traditions — dear and old — with fond nostalgia. Beginning in early December each year, the wee house on Joy Drive was always brimful with Christmas decorations and redolent with the tantalising, spicy aromas of Dad’s mince pies, fruitcake, plum puddings and shortbread. It was also awash with love, hugs, and kisses.
I cherish each of those sweet memories because I’ve learned that the Halcyon Days are fleeting and must be savoured.
Christmas traditions are sufficiently powerful to either enhance or spoil our holiday celebrations. Many people shoulder the burden of their traditions much like a yoke resting on their shoulders, supporting the weight of the world. Mental health balances oh-so-delicately atop its fulcrum; its equilibrium so precarious that the tiniest twitch or wobble can, without warning, cause its collapse. For many folks, Christmas causes much more than a mere wobble…
That swirling mixture of memory and tradition is pure, heart-wrenching melancholia for some. For entirely different reasons, two of my dearest friends are suffering this Christmas season and I’m beyond sad because there is nothing I can say, nothing I can do, to improve their lot in life and bring a smile back to their gentle faces. They are definitely not feeling the peace of the Halcyon Days. Their sad hearts are bruised and tender — they both speak of laughing and feeling happy one minute but later, sobbing their hearts out.
I started writing this post in a bit of a self-indulgent, sentimental, and wistful funk but as my week unfolded, I recognised this as selfish in the extreme. I have close friends (and a relative or two) that are hurting and struggling with anything and everything Christmas. Whilst I cannot fix their problems, I can be present for them, try my level best to understand their circumstance, and offer copious amounts of love and encouragement.
“That by desiring what is perfectly good, even when we don't quite know what it is and cannot do what we would, we are part of the divine power against evil—widening the skirts of light and making the struggle with darkness narrower.”*
These Halcyon Days sure do evoke the entire bandwidth of emotions. Many of our family members and friends are struggling with this season’s baggage. The very traditions that I love, and that make me happy, are the same customs that are causing sadness and stress for others. They’re sifting through and examining their own traditions, desiring what is perfectly good, even when they don't quite know what that is - or will be.
I beg of you, whether you’re meeting a friend for a latte at your favourite coffee shop, or sipping egg nog with your girls 'round the fire, or meeting with the family for your annual Secret Santa gift exchange, or even (especially!) when you’re gathered around your Christmas dinner table, please try to temper your expectations, please do not be impatient with someone’s lack of cheer, please speak with tender words, and please be unfailingly kind. In short, please practice active love because, whilst the person sitting opposite you might be smiling, inside they could be sad, confused, depressed, angry or very unsettled. Or even, all of those. Christmas is all and only about love and active love means widening the skirts of light - being gentle with each other, being undemanding of each other, showing grace and offering peace. May that be the gift you give your friends and family during this year’s Halcyon Days.
’Til next time, y’all…
*Mary Ann Evans, (pen name George Eliot), page 521, Chapter XXXIX, Middlemarch.